What Bothers Me Right Now 7: David Copperfield Edition

"Entertainment Douchebag of the Year"

Ah, yes.  David Copperfield.  You get your own post.  Your douchebaggery, yes douchebaggery, has earned you a sacred spot right here on the blog.

So, we arrive at the show and everything's going well.  I'm excited for the show and even more so, for the meet and greet we have set up for afterwards.  Only one thing's bothering me thus far.  Now, I paid about two hundred bucks each for these tickets.  Keep this in mind.  I sit down and the first thing they start pawning off on us is twenty dollar souvenir cup.  Fuck you.  I should get one free.  Anyways, other than that, I'm fine at this point.

Now, I do have to give the man props.  He puts on a great show.  The guy turned a sheet of paper into a butterfly, made 13 people disappear, walked through a fan blade...oh, his duck pissed on me.  Yeah, that was a highlight.  The duck just shot urine all over me.  Now, that's a souvenir.  Shove that in your twenty dollar cup.  Anyways, awesome show.  I highly suggest checking out at least that portion of the whole "David Copperfield Experience".

Now, the meet and greet.  They usher us, there's only six total people, to this little corner and we wait.  Which is totally fine.  I've met with "Weird Al" Yankovic several times and that's pretty much customary.  So, the wait's over and we go to meet David Copperfield.  So, just so you know, the man's the first magician I had ever seen perform.  The guy made me want to be a magician.  He made the Statue of Liberty disappear, he walked through the Great Wall of China, he, um, dangled over some spikes that were on fire or something.  Anyways, some amazing tricks.  So, my expectations are super high.

Okay, so we walk up the steps and there he is.  And in less than a minute, it was all over.  He didn't say "hello".  He didn't shake my hand.  He just told me to stand to his side, smile for the camera and then said "goodbye".  Oh, he scribbled something on a photograph of himself.  I assume it's his name.  Looks like it says "Dan Cotfeld".  So, all I can think of is, "Wow, I spent hundreds of dollars for this."  Well, whatever.  At least I get a free souvenir picture and this awesome autograph I can now sell on Ebay...er, cherish forever.

Time to pick up the photo.  "Okay guys.  For the 2 pictures and some wallets, that'll be 45 bucks."  Haha.  "No, no," I say, "we just came from the Meet and Greet".  "Oh, okay," says the attendant, "well, I can throw in all of the wallets instead of just 2."  Sad face.  Angry face.  Forty five more dollars gone.  Thanks David.  You magical, mystical fuck.  Oh, and I bought a little stuffed version of the duck that pissed on me.  Might as well have that to remind me...aside from the urine stains on my shirt.

So, in the end...the dude's a total douchebag and totally only doing this magic thing for the money.  I mean, I should've guessed as much.  You know what?  I really shouldn't bitch about it.  It was a once in a lifetime experience...cause I sure as fuck won't do that again.  I'll tell you what though, that man sure can make  money disappear.  Well, at least mine that is.  Joe out.