So, word on the street is, we won't be here much longer. Well, we being the God fearing individuals on planet Earth. I suppose I shouldn't lump myself in the group. I'm an atheist. Have been for awhile. I mean, I tried out religion but, it just didn't work out for myself.
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| Definitely not going to Heaven |
I think my biggest gripe was people always wanting me to go to church. Why do I have to go to church to be religious? I never understood that bit. If my body is my temple, I'll just stay here and pray, thanks. Prayer was another thing I never understood. Leave God alone. He's busy. He's got shit to do like move clouds about, make the sun rise and set and keep Kim Kardashian's boobs looking great. I mean, they're great boobs, God but, they're kinda on one hell of a useless person.
Anyways, the meaning of this was to discuss Judgment Day...and all the things wrong with it. It's like there's some kind of "I'm better than you" syndrome going on with these religious folks. Some of them anyways. I won't lump them all in here. Some atheists are assholes too...like me. In any case, the folks that are in on this Judgment Day, May 21st, Rapture, whatever business act like they got an invite to the big party in Heaven and it's a short list. They're the VIPs. They're going to Heaven and they're going to watch us burn come the end of the world.
That's all find and dandy but, as a moral person who makes moral choices based on morality's sake (basically being good for goodness sake), I wouldn't be waving that invite around. I'd take my chariot or my wings or the escalator, however the fuck I'm getting up there, humbly. Hell, I might even take a sinner or two. Sure. Why not? I'm a good guy. Never understood letting religion dictate whether you should be a good, decent man. I'm good because it's the right thing to do...not because if I'm not good I go to Hell. That makes more sense to me.
In any case, I almost hope it happens. The Rapture, Judgment junk. Earth is crowded and, well, it'd be nice to be here in the final days without all the crazy religion freaks. But let's face it...May 22nd's going to come around, we're all going to be here. Except for the people who die. And they will die. And some idiot will believe it to be a sign. But it isn't. It's just death. Someone will be born, too. What does that mean? I mean, if Jesus or God is just emptying out the world anyways, why let anyone be born? Seems like something an organized God just wouldn't do. And, what if they're not born? What if some lady's been running around with a baby inside of her for 9 months, she's ready to pop and, well, that damn baby won't come out? And, what if the baby's deserving but the mom's not? Does the mom just get a free ride cause she's carrying the baby or does the baby just fly out and go to Heaven or, you know, if the mom does get to go up to they just get the baby out and send her back? I mean, if she's good and the baby's good, yeah, there's no problem but, I mean, you gotta sort out the other stuff.
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| How about I just ask Him for a ride? |
What about people's pets? Who's gonna feed Sparky now that it's the Rapture? Does Sparky go to Heaven? Do you want us heathens taking care of your dog? And what about the Bible? It's the number one selling book of all time. Do we just stop making it? Who do you think would take the number one spot from the Bible? My money's on that damned devil Harry Potter franchise. And another thing...doesn't God and Jesus and Buddha and Yahweh and all those other ones love us? Even the sinners, right? Why doesn't everyone get to go up in the magic rocket ship? I want to ride a unicorn and lick lollipop clouds. Oh well. I guess I should've gone to church like those people asked me to.
In closing, nothing's going to happen. May 21st will be another normal day. I'll get up, take a shit, shower, head to work, pretend to work, take another shit, come home, do some heroine, jerk off, take another shit, cut myself, take some Vicodin and go to sleep. Wake up and do it again the next day. Forever and ever until the day I die or the end of the world comes. Which, of course is by no means as soon as tomorrow. As we all know, December 21st, 2012 is the end of the world. Idiots. Joe out.
