The Bob Barker Discussion

I suppose I should actually call this "The Morgan Freeman Discussion That Turned Into the Bob Barker Discussion Cause Hop Is a Fucking Retard" but, I figured shorter is sweeter, at least in this case.

Al Grey

Anyways, at work, Hop and I got into talking about Morgan Freeman.  It all started when he noticed our new chat program at work made his chat "all grey".  However, he typed "al grey" which made me think he was comparing himself to some man named Al Grey.  We decided to look up the name and found him.  Apparently, Al Gray was a trombonist and played with the likes of the Count Basie Orchestra...whatever that is.  But, good for him.  Moving on...Hop made a comment that the man looked a bit like Morgan Freeman in an air machine.  I had no idea what he was talking about, as usual.  He said, "You know.  Like one of those ones that makes your face stretchy and weird."  Oh, okay Hop.  I guess he sort of does.

So then we started talking about Morgan Freeman.  First, Hop told me Morgan Freeman had never been in a good movie.  I told him otherwise to which he said, "Prove it."  I mentioned Shawshank Redemption.  Hop didn't like that one.  Glory.  Driving Miss Daisy.  Kiss the Girls.  Nope.  Nope.  Nope.  Didn't tickle Hop's fancy which I knew it wouldn't because he's a fucking idiot.  Ahem.  Sorry.  Anyways, he went on to say the only movie worth watching with Morgan Freeman in it is Wanted.  I've never seen the movie but, according to Hop (so this might not be at all true) Morgan Freeman says "Shoot this motherfucker right here."  Which to Hop is the greatest line ever spoken on film.  Yeah, I know.

Weekend at Barker's

After that fiasco, Hop noticed Al Grey was dead and made a comment about Morgan Freeman being dead.  To which I immediately jumped and stated otherwise.  And Hop changed his tune and said, "Yeah, well, he's practically dead."  Which I had to agree because, well, he is.  He then moved on to something that's bothered me forever.  I'm surprised I've never mentioned it here before.  He truly believes that Bob Barker is dead.  I've tried to prove otherwise but Hop insists that Bob Barker is an dead puppet being controlled by the media.  "A dead puppet?"  I questioned.  "Like Weekend at Bernie's?"  "Exactly," he said.  The man's an idiot.

I've had this debate with him time and time again.  Not that I'm a huge fan of Bob Barker but, he's sort of a legend and, let's face it, Bob Barker is The Price is Right.  Drew Carey sucks as host.  Fact.  Anyways, he continued ranting, half of which I blocked out until he blurted out, "Every time he used to come down that stage and they played that Wheel of Fortune music..."  I lost it.  I literally laughed out loud for at least 20 seconds.  He kept trying to fix it, "Price is Right.  I said Price is Right."  But he didn't.  And it just really made me laugh.

Once I recovered, I said, "Hop, those shows aren't even alike at all."

He said, "Uh huh.  The wheels."

I said, "Oh, you mean the one wheel in The Price is Right that they spin twice a show?  Compared to that of Wheel of Fortune where they spin the damn thing every turn?"

He said, "No, no.  I mean yeah but, there's more than just that wheel on The Price is Right.  I'm talking about all the wheels."

At this point, I was upset.  "What fucking wheels, Hop?  They have one fucking wheel."

He said, "All those wheels on the cars they give away."

At which point, I told him I'd stab him and he reminded me that he is un-stabbable.  That's the idiot moron known as Hop.  I can't wait to share him to you all soon.  Joe out.